Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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