Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
