Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
MIDGETS
????
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
BRING THE BAGELS
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
