In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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