We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Its about making memories worth repressing
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
