I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just threw up on my dentist
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
