perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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