i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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