Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
