Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
