where am i from again
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
