I wish you could order shots online.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
