Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
