My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
