I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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