In America we eat man semen.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
