He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
We need a shit load of segways right now
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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