his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
