My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
