Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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