Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We left the knife in your bed.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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