Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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