stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
