And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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