So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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