i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
