Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
