I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm at about main and main street
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
