omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
How external is "for external use only"?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
