Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
