She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
