Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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