The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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