wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
