At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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