I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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