All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
