As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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