i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
