remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
