Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
