I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
