People in love make me want to vomit
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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