I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
well you can't waste a boner
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
