i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Randomize
