Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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