he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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