Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
