BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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