oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
