Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
