I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
